Do you want to be right, or do you want the relationship?

This bit of advice came from my neighbor.   We all know someone who seems to have all the answers.  And it can be a wonderful thing if that person wants to "help" with their knowledge.  But it is another thing when that person wants to "change you" so that you believe or think like them.  My father used to say, "never talk about politics or religion".  Most people have been raised to be politically conservative or liberal, and are either strong in their faith or not.  Both topics seem to bring out polarizing views, and most times, you are not going to change the other person.  So this advice is about all topics where you think you are "right" but the other person in your "relationship" differs.  Do you want to sacrifice the relationship to be right, or do you want the relationship?  My husband has a friend who is worried about my husband's "salvation".  The friend doesn't think that my husband worships in a way that will get him into heaven.  The friend is about to sacrifice the relationship, because he won't let the subject go.   In that case, it is my husband who is about to "stay away" from the person who always thinks that their interpretation is "right".  But there are lots of successful married relationships where spouses have opposing views, but choose the relationship over being "right".  Again, using religion or politics as examples, there are many happily married couples where one spouse goes to one church, and the other goes to another.  They accept each other's "differences" and choose the relationship instead.  So when someone is always fighting with you because they have to be right, you can make a choice to ignore them, let them be right and chose the relationship, or you can walk away from the relationship.  Likewise, if you are the one who thinks YOU are right,  you have to decide if the other persons views are "wrong" enough for you to "walk away".  But a decision has to be made, "do you want to be right, or do you want the relationship?"

Use a checkbook register to teach children about managing money.

I have NEVER regretted how I taught my girls how to manage their finances.  I started when they were very young.  We gave them an allowance, but we never gave them the cash.  We kept all of their money, including gifts from grandparents or from birthdays, and logged the amount into a paper register from a checkbook.  (This might be outdated by the time my grandchildren read this, but they can always do a "search" on an image of a checkbook register.)  I "added" any allowance or money gift into the register and carried them in my purse.  If the girls ever asked us for a toy or clothing or something they really wanted, we showed them how much they had in their register, and determined if they had enough to buy what they wanted.  I would pay for their item, and subtract the amount from the register.  Years later, my oldest daughter found her register book.  She added up all of the expenditures and came to a wonderful conclusion.  "Mom, I don't use any of these items I bought, and if I still had that money, I would have $XXX left."  (I think it was around $7-800, which at the time was a huge amount to this young girl in the mid 1990's.  We had the girls all get jobs at 16, and then told them to save what they earned for college.  We would pay for their education at a state university, for books and room and board.  But they would have to pay for all social activities.  We never gave our girls a credit card, never let them have unlimited spending, and they had to manage all of their finances during these years.  As a result., we have raised them to be three fiscally responsible adults.

Contentment is wanting what you already have

I learned this definition of contentment from a friend visiting our Florida home.  I love this saying.  Are you content?  What we should all strive for is to be content with what we already have, and stop wanting for what we don't have or can't have.  My poor mother was born just before the Great Depression of the 1930's.  Her family was from the boot heel of Missouri, and were "dirt poor".  My mother always wanted more.  She was never content.  When she died at 86, the thing that made me the most sad is that mom was never content.  She always wanted more.  She wanted bigger houses, nicer furniture, better children, a better husband, etc.  In fact, this definition stems from scripture.  Paul speaks to the Philippians in 4:11-12:  "Not that I speak from want; for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and
I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have
learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance
and suffering need."  In my bible studies, it is emphasized over and over that the secret to happiness and contentment is to trust in God and to just want what He has already given to you.

Drink right, eat left

I love little sayings that help me to remember proper etiquette.  When I was first dating my husband, he was  working for what was then known as a Big 8 accounting firm.  We went out to a private dinner club with one of the partners.  There were pieces of silverware and glassware everywhere.  My dad was a warehouseman and I came from a lower middle class family.  Although I never felt "less than" anyone else, I commented to the partner that I hoped I used the proper utensil.  He told me not to worry and to follow him.  But here are a few little sayings to help you remember which glass and plate are yours.  When you set the table, your drink goes on the right and your bread plate should be on the left...remember dRink Right and Eat lEft  (The "r" is in drink and it is to your Right, and the word left has the "e" for eat).    When you are setting the table, remember that knife and spoon have 5 letters as does right, and fork has four letters as does left.  So your two forks go on the left, and your knife and spoon go on the right.  When eating, use the utensil on the outside first and work your way in. Teach your children these little techniques and they will always have confidence eating in fine restaurants or in setting their own table for dinner parties.

Let your friends and family "off the hook" when they try to decline an invitation.

Many times we get an invitation to something that we just don't want to do.  Sometimes we feel like we have to tell a little white lie just to "excuse ourselves" from the invitation.  I'm sure I have been guilty of "hounding" someone to do something that they just don't want to do, but I hope it was for little things like, "oh please go see that movie with me.".  When I got married, I chose to have the ceremony in my husband's  small family church that was an hour outside of our city, and 1.5 hours from where my mother's family lived.  My dad hated to drive and I knew that for him, it would have been a burden to drive that far for a niece or a friend's child.  So I had a cake and punch reception at my husband's church for his family, and then we had a second reception at my parents house for my family and friends (although my husbands family were all invited to attend that reception if they wanted to drive into the city).  We let everyone "off the hook" for attending the wedding so that they wouldn't have to drive far.  What I do remember is that my one aunt, who lived the furthest away, brought my grandfather to my wedding because he really wanted to be there.  (As I am writing this, I am tearing up at the thought of her kindness).  But I didn't "blame" or think less of any of my aunts, uncles and friends who only came to the reception at my parents because I had let them off the hook.  How many times have you had a friend or family member who keeps after you to do something your really don't want to do?  I have three daughters who are all at the age where their friends are getting married, and they are being asked to be bridesmaids.  One of the trends is for the bride to have a destination bachelorette party.   But when my daughter said that she didn't want to spend that much money for a long weekend, the bride was offended and wouldn't let her off the hook.   It made for a very uncomfortable few weeks.  It was nothing personal to the bride, but my daughter did not want to extend herself that much for a weekend.  The destination party wasn't even exclusive to the bridal party, as some 20+ girls had been invited.   So don't be selfish and expect everyone to want to do what you have planned.  If they say they can't (or won't), let them off the hook, don't hound them, and love them anyway.

Always reply to voice messages and emails

Nothing has made me angrier in recent years than "friends" who don't take the time to answer an email or voice message.   It is one thing if you get a call from someone you always talk to and her message says, "hi, I'm just in the car and thought I would kill time".  In that situation, you don't need to call back.  But if you get a call from someone who you consider to be a "good friend" and they say "I was calling about....please call me back", then you should call back.  If you are super busy, maybe sending a text back saying, "got your voice message but I don't have time to talk now...can I call you back in the a.m.? "  Or if someone sends an email to you and it is not a forward, but meant just for you, then at least write back something.  An acquaintance recently said that she wanted to purchase something that I had bought a year earlier.  I went home and did all the research for her and sent her the links by email.  That acquaintance immediate shot back an email saying, "thanks for all the work you did."  That response took her a few seconds.   She might never act on the information I sent to her, but at least she acknowledged my effort.  But I'll bet we all have a friend who never returns your call or hits "reply" to an email that is addressed just to her.  That person makes me feel like our friendship is not that important to her.  My life lesson here is that you should always "respect" the other person enough to return the call or the email.  If you don't want to talk, start with, "I only have a few minutes, but I wanted to get back with you as soon as I could".  Let your friends know that they are important and you value their friendship.

Don't present problems, present solutions.

This bit of advice came from my first manager at my first job right out of college.  I was hired as a marketing representative at IBM in the Data Processing Division.  My manager brought me into his office and suggested this bit of advice.  He said that if anything went wrong in an account,  I was expected to come to him presenting what the problem was, and then giving him three potential solutions.  And he expected me to have thought out those solutions and to let him know which one I would recommend.  What did that teach me?  To not just "react" and run to the boss.  I had to think out what the problem was, and to work on figuring out the solutions myself.  Because of him,  I now think of myself as a "problem solver", and that was not good in raising children.  I haven't always allowed my girls to solve their own problems, and that was a mistake.  i should have stopped them when presenting a problem,  and told them to state the problem and to give me three possible solutions.  Of course 1-2 of them might be totally unacceptable, but that is okay.  It would have taught them to think things through before running to mom or dad.  Hopefully, they will not allow their children to come to them with only problems, but with potential solutions.  It makes for a much more optimistic personality and an independent adult.

Always be ready to defend family.

My dad was a first generation Italian American.  His parents came over from Sicily.  The one thing that was ingrained in my father was that his family was first and foremost in his life.  My dad LOVED children, and when he was with his nieces and nephews, they felt like they were the most special person in the world.  He treated children with the same respect that he treated the adults.  When he married and his mother was alone, he always took time to go visit with her.  His sister and brother moved their mother almost next door to them and helped to care for her, because that was the Italian culture.  After his mom passed, we always spent holidays and several weekends during the year visiting his brothers and sisters.  On one of those visits,  my cousin's made me faint by putting their arms tight around my chest and had me hold my breath.  I passed out (which was the goal) but then I started convulsing.  Everyone was laughing and thought it was funny.  My sister, who was 7 years older, was there.  When we all ran back to tell our parents what had happened, my sister was in so much trouble because dad didn't think she was there to help and defend me.  He lectured us that as siblings, we should be there to help and defend each other.  I also had crossed eyes, and if my sister was there when someone teased me, she would be expected to defend me.  As my girls grow, I pray that they have their grandfather's spirit and stay close to their siblings, defend them when it is needed, and treat their nieces and nephews with respect.   (And don't forget to visit your mother in the nursing home :-).

Don't accept a "no" from someone who doesn't have the authority to give you a "yes".

I can't claim this bit of advice either.  It was from an excerpt from the Today Show by their travel advisor.  But how many times do you find yourself trying to get something changed by the sales clerk behind the register or the customer service rep who answers the phone?  Most of the time you will get a response that they cannot change something for you, but what you need to realize is that they don't have the authority to make that change happen.  What you need to do is find out who has the authority to give you a "yes".  If not, keep asking for the next level up.  Sometimes the answer is still "no", but you will be surprised at how often you can get resolution to your problem by taking it up the chain of command.  Just the other day, I wanted to buy the promotion from Estee Lauder at Macy's but did not want to buy the fragrance that they required for purchase.  However, I was willing to buy something in their makeup line.  Macy's told me "no".  Then we went to Bloomingdales, and they had the same promotion.  I asked again, and guess what?  She let me buy TWO of the promotions with the purchase of one make up item.  So persevere and keep asking.  But also know when to accept a "no".  There will be times that you go up the ladder and the answer will still be no.  Accept it and try to learn a "life lesson" that you can share with others.

Return a borrowed item in better condition than you borrowed it.

This is a lesson I wished my mother had taught me before going to college.  I probably didn't borrow clothes from friends in high school like my daughter's have, but in college, I remember borrowing a sorority sister's dress for a dance.  She didn't give it to me "professionally cleaned", but it didn't smell bad.  But by the time I wore it, it definitely had an odor.  I returned it to her the next day, uncleaned.  Shame on me.  I wish I could get in touch with her now and apologize and maybe send her a gift card to a dry cleaners.  However, I have shared that story with my daughter's and told them to always return a borrowed item in better shape than it was lent to them.  Every piece of clothing that they borrowed was returned to the owner in a dry cleaner's bag after it had been professionally cleaned.  One daughter even had a dress that was lent to her with a rip already in it, and we made the necessary repairs before returning.   This was so ingrained into my children, that one daughter was appalled when she lent her dress to someone and that person literally returned it wadded up in a ball and handed it to her right from her locker at school.  That girl needed to have this lesson taught to her.  They always had to have the borrowed dress dry cleaned after they wore it!

And if someone brings you a plate of cookies,  you should return the plate to them "clean" with some other "treat".  Even if it is some store bought cookies, it is a way of thanking them for being so thoughtful.  If you borrow a book,  be sure to give the book back in a timely fashion and maybe include a bookmark or a small gift card to a bookstore for another book.  Those little thoughtful gestures will be appreciated and make you a cherished friend.

Always take a hostess gift when invited to someone's home for a party or dinner.

My mother never taught me this either.  However, when we went to someone's house, it was usually family, or it was to their friend's where they rotated hosting the card party, and nobody took a gift because they did this each month, and they would always be bringing gifts to each other.  But my oldest daughter was just invited to her sorority sister's new house for a pot luck dinner.  Although she was bringing a covered dish (which is usually the "gift" to the hostess), I encouraged her to bring a small "consumable" item.  This doesn't cost much, and it shows the hostess that your really appreciate her hospitality.  A bottle of wine, a candle, a lotion, etc. all work nicely as a hostess gift.  I invited a friend over for dinner who doesn't drink, and she brought over a specialty bottle of extra virgin olive oil.  What a nice, thoughtful gift that I was able to use and I thought of her each time I used it!  And if it was a really nice event, and the hostess worked hard to put it together, a hand written thank you note sent afterwards is always a welcome and thoughtful gesture.  And as you raise children, teach them the value of the written thank you note.  Are there exceptions to this rule?  Yes, if you are invited to a party where you are expected to purchase something (Pampered Chef, Tupperware, Party Lights, Stella and Dot, etc.) you are not expected to bring a gift, or if you are going for a shower, where you are bringing a gift for the honoree, then you are not expected to bring a gift for the hostess.

Show respect to each other and teach respect to your children by example.

My daughter, who teaches kindergarten, feels that the problem with children in her classroom is not that they are not as smart as children in other countries, but that they are not as respectful.   If you look at children from countries who are surpassing the USA in test scores, they are not just book smart, but they are respectful and disciplined.  On black Friday (the day after Thanksgiving) I was crossing a side street that intersected busy Michigan Ave. in downtown Chicago.  The light changed to allow cars on Michigan Ave. to turn left onto our street.  We had a red hand signaling us that we were not to walk.  This group of young women (I'm guessing to be between 18-20) started walking across the street ignoring the don't walk signal.  The driver who had the right of way honked.  This young woman looked up at him, and flipped up her middle finger at him.  I just stared her down.  She was in the wrong, but in her world, she was more important than the don't walk light or the driver who had the signal to turn.   I'm guessing that her parents did not teach her to respect authority and others.

There were many times that my girls were disrespectful of me, especially in their teen years.  My Italian father DEMANDED respect, and I loved him for it.  I would never have called my dad a name to his face, and if I had, I would have been punished (and probably with a physical slap on the face!) Although I don't condone any type of physical discipline, I agree that we need to teach our children to be respectful.  They need to respect all authority, which includes teachers, parents, grandparents, and even turn signals.  The earlier a child is taught respect, the easier it will be to get through the teenage years.  If they are calling you "stupid" at 5 or 6 and you allow it, they will be calling you much worse when they are 16-18.  And if your child ever does show disrespect to one parent, the other parent should step right in to defend their spouse and discipline the child.  That will teach the child by example to respect their spouse when they get married.  (Dr. Phil once said that if his boys said something disrespectful of his wife, Robin, he said to the boys, "Don't you talk to my wife that way".  He didn't refer to her as "your mother" but as "my wife".  He said that it would help teach them to respect their wives in the future).   It is important to show each other respect, and that respect starts with the parents.  It needs to be passed on to our children.  Don't allow disrespect of any authority.  It is a lesson that is never too early to start.

Never lose a friendship over money

One of my biggest regrets is losing a friend over money.  Let me digress a little and give you some background.  I had to start working at 16 and save every dime I made because I was considered a financially independent student and paid 100% of my college on my own.  I was very frugal with my money because I had to be.  I even joined a sorority and paid for all of that, and bought my first car during my senior year of college.  I moved into an apartment as soon as I got my first job out of college, and still managed to save enough to buy my own condo at 25.  When I started dating my husband, he had no savings.  In fact when we married three years later, he had to consolidate his consolidation loans.  I had bought him his table and chairs and a mattress for his apartment.  I had to buy my own engagement ring, and paid for our honeymoon.  My parents would not pay for a real reception for us, so we had a wedding on a shoestring.  But I was used to scrimping and saving.  Although I have taught my girls how to save and smart ways to manage money, I never want them to lose a friendship because of money.
I had a met Ann when I was living with my first roommate out of college.  We both wanted to move out, but needed a roommate.  Ann and I decided to live together.  We lived for 2-3 years in various apartments and during that time, I bought all the lumber to build an "entertainment center" for my TV and stereo equipment.  Ann's dad and brother did all the measuring, cutting and building of the unit.  By the third year together, I was ready to move out on my own.  Ann's boyfriend was practically living with us and things were not going well.  I bought my condo and moved my things out, including the wall unit.  Ann stopped me and asked why I was taking it.  I felt totally justified because I had bought the wood.  She thought that because her dad and brother had assembled it, that it was hers.  I moved out and took the unit.  Although it wasn't just that one thing that created a wedge between us, I have always regretted letting go of a friendship for a material thing.  That wall unit was not more important than my friendship with Ann.  I should have let her have it (although it WAS built to fit my electronics).  I never want my children or grandchildren to let money or any material item end a friendship.  And if I could do it all over again, I would have left that wall unit with Ann.

Argyle never goes out of style

This is where I want my girls to realize that almost EVERYTHING goes out of style.  When you try to keep up with the trends, you are always spending, and throwing away.  But if you go with the "classics", you will never be out of style.  Bobby Jones, the famous professional golfer born in 1902, wore argyle sweaters in the 1920s.  My husband had on an argyle sweater in a 1985 Christmas photo.  My girls, who were in their late teens, saw the picture and said, "nice sweater, dad".  I realized then that argyle has never gone out of style.  As of 2011, my girls are still buying argyle.  It is the same with wedding dresses.  We were recently looking at my husband's niece's wedding album.  She was married in the early 90's when  big shoulders and big hair were popular.  Although she had a BEAUTIFUL wedding, I know she wishes that the style at the time had been more "classic".  If you look at Princess Grace of Monoco's wedding in the 1950's, it was "classic".  Recently, when Kate Middleton married Prince William of Wales, her dress was modeled after the classic style of Princess Grace.  Although the long lace sleeves are not the style in the US, especially for summer weddings, there are classics in dresses and hair styles that will never go out of style.  So when shopping or decorating, stay with the classics and you will never look back at your old photos and say, "what was I thinking?"

Family "traditions" are so important.

coming soon

KISS (Keep it simple stupid) Rule #1 for preparing large family dinners.

Right now, I am preparing for a "family dinner".  My stepson is coming with his wife and three children.  My stepdaughter is coming with her boyfriend, and our three daughters are coming with boyfriends.  The immediate family is up to 15 and counting (I'm still hoping for more grandchildren!)  We decided to make lasagna, but for 15, we needed at least two batches.  Here is the life lesson I am learning from this:  don't make your own meat sauce unless it is a proven recipe that you have used several times before.  Ragu or Prego has the sauce "perfected"!  We are trying a new "white lasagna" recipe that we had the day we moved in (someone else made it for us.)  Making two of the traditional recipe would have been SO MUCH EASIER and so much cheaper than making two different and new recipes at once.  My husband went to the grocery store to get the "ingredients" for our simple lasagna, and has spent more than $200 so far for this dinner.  It would be one thing if we were having beef tenderloin, but ingredients for lasagna??  (And no, that doesn't include any alcohol...although I might need some before this dinner is over).  We just had our kitchen professionally cleaned yesterday, and today, it looks like a bomb went off.   Right now, my husband is doing most of the work because he said, "this is fun".  So now I am happily typing my blog to let my daughter's know that if their husband is going to leave them with the cooking or the mess, KISS and make it "semi-homemade".

Always paint your walls beige

This bit of wisdom goes along with what I wrote about wearing argyle.  Just like argyle has been classic and timeless, so have off-white walls.  Color trends come and go, but beige, taupe and off-white walls and white wood work never go out of style.   When I was very young, it was so trendy to have a kitchen with harvest gold or avocado green appliances.  Thank goodness that trend came and went!  But when appliances were first introduced, they were white.  and you still can't go wrong with white appliances (although stainless steel and black are still "neutral").  When I first moved into our current home 24 years ago, the color trend was steel blue and mauve.  I wanted it so bad, but I had so many navy's and rust, I couldn't afford to make the change.

The first house we bought together after getting married included all white woodwork.  If you wanted the "stain package", you had to pay extra.  (That was because the 6 panel doors didn't have to be real wood to be white, but the stain package required all real wood doors and trim.).  So when we were building our second home 4 years later, they offered the stain package as a standard.  We had the choice of white or stain.  Why wouldn't I choose the stain package when it was an "extra" in the first house?  So I picked the stain package because it seemed to be a better "deal".  But what I didn't realize is that stained wood work comes and goes.  It wasn't much after our purchase of the new home that stained woodwork was OUT and white was IN (although white has never been out).  We have now lived in our home 24 years.  The walls that were originally painted off white, were soon covered with a grasscloth wallpaper.  When that went out, I painted over the grass cloth with a dark green.  I recently decided that the house needed to be updated, and I wanted to make changes that would be "timeless" and help me to sell the house when the time came.  Guess what?  I had to pay a lot of money to strip that painted wallpaper, repair the walls and paint them back to beige.  And I got rid of the blue furniture, the gold furniture, and any furniture with "color" and decorated in various forms of off-white, beige and a touch of black.  I can almost guarantee that these pieces will be "timeless".  If I need to update, I can do it with colored accessories and pillows.  When my oldest daughter bought her first home, she bought off-white couches and put them in a room with bright pillows and a colorful rug.  When that color palate changes, she just needs to pitch the accessories, and buy new accessories in the newest trendy color.  But what is the name of her favorite paint color in her house??  Natural!  How timeless is that?

Little homes make life easier

It is so tempting to see big beautiful homes in your area and wish that you lived in one.  However, you can create a beautiful space for you and your family in a safe neighborhood and be just as happy.  In fact, the more square footage you have, the more complicated life can be.  We now have a home that is more than 3 stories off the ground in the back.  The roof is very angular and steep.  Not long ago, we replaced the roof. Then about 8 years later, the chimney was crumbling and we had it tuck-pointed.  Now, we are having leaks in our interior ceiling.  Because the roof is so big, so steep and so high off the ground, we can never examine it ourselves.  We found out from a roofing contractor that when the tuck-pointing workers built their scaffolding on the roof around the chimney, they ruined our new roof (which had a 25 year warranty against normal wear and hail).  Because of recent storms in the area, we can't get a roofing company to do the work.  And in the meantime, our ceiling is continuing to leak causing more damage in the house.  Here is my advise.  Be careful what you wish for.  Keep your life simple.  Keep your home simple.  My oldest daughter just bought her first house.  It is a 1300 square foot ranch.  The roof is very simple.  I could easily climb a ladder and inspect the roof if someone had just been up there to do work for me.  I could even clean the gutters myself.  It's wonderful if you have the means to pay someone, but wealth cannot always get you the right people to your house in a timely manner to get things fixed.  My advice to my daughters?  Keep your small house as long as it is feasible.  Use your money to fix up your small space.  But make sure you can manage the space you have.  Don't buy more bedrooms or bathrooms than you need.  If you want a pool, think long and hard about how you have to care for it, and whether you will really use it.  If you want a big deck, remember that you have to stain and seal it.  If you want a big yard, remember that someone has to mow and fertilize it.  If you want really nice furniture, then don't buy something that you can't afford to replace if someone spills on it.  Keep your home livable and manageable, and I promise your life will be easier and less stressful.

Always take a black jacket when you travel.

I have had the opportunity to travel quite a bit.  On my last trip, I brought a white sweater to wear over my shoulders in case I got cold.  The first time out, something went by a big mud puddle and splashed mud all over my white sweater.  I realized my mistake. When traveling, ALWAYS pack a black (dark) sweater or jacket.  Even in the hottest of summers, you will inevitably have a cool evening or be in a restaurant where the air conditioning is blowing right on you.  There is almost nothing more miserable than to be cold.  Always have a dark wrap with you to cover your arms.  If it gets dirty or you spill on it, nobody will be the wiser!

No TV's or PC's in the children's bedrooms

One mistake that I made was to put a TV in each of the bedrooms.  If I could raise my children again, they would only have access to TV's in public areas.  The same goes for computers.  My three children are all in their 20's now, but I regret that we didn't spend more time at "family activities". TV's can be an easy babysitter and I realize in today's world, mom's need to make dinner or clean, and it is easy to put children to in front of the TV to entertain them.  But at least they should be in the kitchen or family room with you so that you can monitor their TV programs.  And by not having the TV in their bedroom,  it encourages them to read before bedtime.  Early reading helps them to do better in school and establishes a love of reading that will last a lifetime.

Premise behind this blog

I have made a lot of mistakes.  And at 56, I've learned "what not to do" the hard way.  I am using this blog to document what mistakes I have made and what I would have done differently.  Hopefully, anyone who follows will learn some important life lessons and use them to teach future generations.

Let me start by letting you know that I grew up in the midwest with very little.  My father was a warehouseman, and my mother worked retail.  Both were minimum wage earners.  I grew up in a 900 square foot house, and moved in middle school to a house that was maybe 1200 sq. feet (each only had one bathroom).  We had very little.  My generation was categorized as wanting more and wanting big.  Your success was measured by your surroundings (house, car, jewels, clothes, etc.)   My parents didn't have the money for any of us to go to college, but I worked from the time I was 16 and with financial aid, I worked and paid my way through college.  I got a really good job with a fortune 500 company in sales where I met my husband.  After 30 years of marriage, we now have 2 homes and rental property.  I will never complain about what I have, but the purpose of this blog is to help the next generation understand that these things do not make for a better life, and that you can be so happy with much less.