Show respect to each other and teach respect to your children by example.

My daughter, who teaches kindergarten, feels that the problem with children in her classroom is not that they are not as smart as children in other countries, but that they are not as respectful.   If you look at children from countries who are surpassing the USA in test scores, they are not just book smart, but they are respectful and disciplined.  On black Friday (the day after Thanksgiving) I was crossing a side street that intersected busy Michigan Ave. in downtown Chicago.  The light changed to allow cars on Michigan Ave. to turn left onto our street.  We had a red hand signaling us that we were not to walk.  This group of young women (I'm guessing to be between 18-20) started walking across the street ignoring the don't walk signal.  The driver who had the right of way honked.  This young woman looked up at him, and flipped up her middle finger at him.  I just stared her down.  She was in the wrong, but in her world, she was more important than the don't walk light or the driver who had the signal to turn.   I'm guessing that her parents did not teach her to respect authority and others.

There were many times that my girls were disrespectful of me, especially in their teen years.  My Italian father DEMANDED respect, and I loved him for it.  I would never have called my dad a name to his face, and if I had, I would have been punished (and probably with a physical slap on the face!) Although I don't condone any type of physical discipline, I agree that we need to teach our children to be respectful.  They need to respect all authority, which includes teachers, parents, grandparents, and even turn signals.  The earlier a child is taught respect, the easier it will be to get through the teenage years.  If they are calling you "stupid" at 5 or 6 and you allow it, they will be calling you much worse when they are 16-18.  And if your child ever does show disrespect to one parent, the other parent should step right in to defend their spouse and discipline the child.  That will teach the child by example to respect their spouse when they get married.  (Dr. Phil once said that if his boys said something disrespectful of his wife, Robin, he said to the boys, "Don't you talk to my wife that way".  He didn't refer to her as "your mother" but as "my wife".  He said that it would help teach them to respect their wives in the future).   It is important to show each other respect, and that respect starts with the parents.  It needs to be passed on to our children.  Don't allow disrespect of any authority.  It is a lesson that is never too early to start.