Let your friends and family "off the hook" when they try to decline an invitation.

Many times we get an invitation to something that we just don't want to do.  Sometimes we feel like we have to tell a little white lie just to "excuse ourselves" from the invitation.  I'm sure I have been guilty of "hounding" someone to do something that they just don't want to do, but I hope it was for little things like, "oh please go see that movie with me.".  When I got married, I chose to have the ceremony in my husband's  small family church that was an hour outside of our city, and 1.5 hours from where my mother's family lived.  My dad hated to drive and I knew that for him, it would have been a burden to drive that far for a niece or a friend's child.  So I had a cake and punch reception at my husband's church for his family, and then we had a second reception at my parents house for my family and friends (although my husbands family were all invited to attend that reception if they wanted to drive into the city).  We let everyone "off the hook" for attending the wedding so that they wouldn't have to drive far.  What I do remember is that my one aunt, who lived the furthest away, brought my grandfather to my wedding because he really wanted to be there.  (As I am writing this, I am tearing up at the thought of her kindness).  But I didn't "blame" or think less of any of my aunts, uncles and friends who only came to the reception at my parents because I had let them off the hook.  How many times have you had a friend or family member who keeps after you to do something your really don't want to do?  I have three daughters who are all at the age where their friends are getting married, and they are being asked to be bridesmaids.  One of the trends is for the bride to have a destination bachelorette party.   But when my daughter said that she didn't want to spend that much money for a long weekend, the bride was offended and wouldn't let her off the hook.   It made for a very uncomfortable few weeks.  It was nothing personal to the bride, but my daughter did not want to extend herself that much for a weekend.  The destination party wasn't even exclusive to the bridal party, as some 20+ girls had been invited.   So don't be selfish and expect everyone to want to do what you have planned.  If they say they can't (or won't), let them off the hook, don't hound them, and love them anyway.